Changes, Transitions & New Year Reflections (A Time for Everything)

Kawana Beach somewhere on a glorious Summer afternoon.

THE ending of one year and the beginning of another is a bit of a cliché reflection point, but nevertheless, it’s quite an obvious one. Some circumstances and events can only be viewed clearly in hindsight; it’s not always easy to think soberly on something when you’re in the midst of it, whilst trying to keep your head above water.

What’s true for most of us is that when we look at the various compartments that comprise our life, the seasons that sweep through each compartment are rarely uniform. It is true that whilst one aspect of your life may be flourishing in a spring, another may be retiring in the cool in the shade of autumn or hibernating or barely keeping warm in the winter.

This was certainly the case for me in 2023. However, 2023 needs the context of 2022 for it to make any sense.

2022 was “The Year of Massive Change”, with so many things taking place in those 12 months:

1) The unexpected passing of my Mum at the beginning of the year and the flow-on effects of learning how to grieve and heal on the go whilst supporting Dad through the same situation

2) Enjoying the process of preparing for a wedding with Emmerson

3) Releasing a debut album, which was the fulfilment of a long-awaited goal and the deliberate closure of that chapter of creativity in my life

4) Exiting a cherished role of serving as Creative Director at Suncoast Church

5) Entering the world of full-time real estate sales (something which I’ve thrived in) and finishing the role of Office Manager at Keyline Realty

6) Dad remarrying at the end of 2022

7) Moving houses and starting life as a married couple with Emmerson

So many major life transitions. I look back at that period of time and I sometimes wonder how I made it through that era; I somewhat marvel at the fact that I just didn’t fall over in a heap - which leads me to:

FACT: Purpose keeps you moving

At the end of the day, by the grace of God and with the support of people around me, I kept moving. Having these “must do” targets for things such as pulling off a wedding, supporting Dad, moving into a house and creating a home, looking after my creative flock, looking after my clients and releasing an album kept me moving. If I had no purpose, I can imagine I had the very strong likelihood to collapse and not get back up again for a very long time.

Question: What is your purpose in 2024?

I can genuinely say that I look back and I am proud of the way I left 2022 with my head held high despite a rough and tumble year mixed with great tragedy, great joys, and great change – one that I was glad to see the end of.

So if 2022 was “The Year of Great Change”, 2023 was “The Aftermath”. And I think sometimes you prematurely think the aftermath is over, when really, it’s just begun.

It is no wonder then with the transitions of 2022, the cumulative effect that had on me is something akin to a house whose bricks have moved and cracked under the pressures of movement and bearing weight: it’s still there, and it’s still standing, but the façade of impregnability is gone. The cracks on display are the aftermath of the pressures.

It requires humility and a healthy dose of realism to acknowledge and accept that the cracks are there. As an old mentor said to me once: “faith is not the denial of reality.”

I had to accept that:

- Things have changed, and some events in life are irrevocable

- I needed time out to process, breathe and heal

- Healing is not always a linear process

- Life is finite: make the most of your time here on Earth

- Some things must come to an end

- That endings and beginnings are not necessarily simultaneous, but some beginnings can only take place once something else ends

- That change is uncomfortable for a lot of people to watch you process. It’s not that they don’t care, it’s just they don’t know how to. However, the people who know you and love you the most will come and sit with you whilst you’re in the chamber of stasis before metamorphosis. These people will make peace with the fact that the old version of you is gone and embrace the new version of you that is coming.

FACT: To move on, you must accept the reality that is before you and only then you can build onwards from there with a sense of faith and hope.

Question: What do you need to accept before you can heal and move forward?

As mentioned prior, one part of your life can be thriving in one season, and another can be completely dormant. At work, I was thriving. I wholeheartedly threw myself into a career where my entrepreneurial skills and work ethic were rewarded with happy clients and financial success. I was the first Keyline salesperson to achieve “Gold” and “Platinum” levels of success, and was recognized within the real estate network as an up-and-comer. I moved from Spring to Summer in this area throughout 2023. (If you want to hear more about this, I share about this journey to success more in-depth on the Smartre Podcast Episode “First to Gold” HERE)

Receiving my Platinum Badge, Smartre Convention 2023

When it came to ministry, 2023 was essentially a forced sabbatical. The winter had come and it was time for this area of my life to be pruned back, whether I liked it or not. I thank Kristian McFarlane from Mary Valley Church who gave me opportunities to lead worship during this time: moments like these gave remembrance that this is still part of my calling and continued to breathe life into this tool and gift.

It is no secret that transition is hard, especially when I was leaving one part of my identity behind as a Creative Pastor. Suncoast Church has been my home since 2010, and I strongly considered starting afresh somewhere else last year. I write this openly to be helpful to you dear reader, because here are the three reasons I stayed:

1) God never gave me the inner greenlight to go elsewhere

2) The community of the church is still my family, and certain individuals who intentionally reached out to me and supported me ultimately kept me in orbit. Tom Birrell, Chas Gullo, Brendan Woods, Brian Bakes, Steven Lawrance and Kerith Demetriou, you’re all stars

3) I spoke to my psychologist, Graeme Kell about this, and he gave me some sage advice which really helped sum up this part of life in 2023:

“If things are toxic, it’s time to leave. However, if it is possible to embrace discomfort, many things are possible on the other side of it.”

Question: Is there an area in your life that you need to embrace - instead of avoid - discomfort in order to move forward?

The final aspect of the aftermath in 2023 was embracing the new. As Brian Houston says “The end of an era is not the completion of a destiny,” (which if you know the story of Brian, is something in itself).

I looked forward to the new. I auditioned and performed in a three-man play, Art. It was truly thrilling to step outside of my comfort zone, expand my relationship circles and enjoy a new vehicle of performance. I chose to embrace new experiences – something small as doing a “Paint and Sip” was once again, a highlight of my year. Even someone as non-sport-oriented like me getting behind the Matildas was something fresh to be a part of.

Playing “Serge” alongside Tom Jermyn as “Yvan” in Art.

Choosing to go to new places, to live new experiences and to make memories with people I love: this was the joy of 2023. Choosing to embrace being a real estate salesperson and throwing everything I had into it: this was the salve and purpose of 2023. Learning to let go as best possible and embracing the new, rather than living in the “glory days” was part of my healing and personal growth.

Question: What do you need to embrace in 2024? What do you need to let go of?

This was the aftermath. I now accept that there is a time for everything.

And with the processing of all of the above, I recently re-evaluated what I value: it is what remains after the rain has come and washed the debris away.

These values are shaping what I wish to embrace in 2024, and possibly, for the rest of my life.

1) Honour God

2) Love and spend quality time with your family and close friends

3) Be a giver: of your time, finances, effort and love

4) Do meaningful work: whether it be paid or unpaid, do it with the attitude to serve

5) Create art, in some way, shape or form

6) Stay in a community of faith

7) Enjoy the nectar of life: savour every moment; create time for the things that matter. If there is a time to die, why age yourself prematurely, physically, emotionally, and attitudinally

Everything else is a vehicle towards these things. I imagine myself sitting on a beach when I have grey hair, looking out towards the sea: I see myself fulfilled in life because these values kept me.

Question: What do you value in life and are you moving in the direction of these things, or away from them?

And coincidentally, it’s an acceptance of what the writer of Ecclesiastes says, and it’s what I shall leave you with dear reader:

1 There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:

2     a time to be born and a time to die,
    a time to plant and a time to uproot,
3     a time to kill and a time to heal,
    a time to tear down and a time to build,
4     a time to weep and a time to laugh,
    a time to mourn and a time to dance,
5     a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
    a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
6     a time to search and a time to give up,
    a time to keep and a time to throw away,
7     a time to tear and a time to mend,
    a time to be silent and a time to speak,
8     a time to love and a time to hate,
    a time for war and a time for peace.

9 What do workers gain from their toil? 10 I have seen the burden God has laid on the human race. 11 He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet[a] no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end. 12 I know that there is nothing better for people than to be happy and to do good while they live. 13 That each of them may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all their toil—this is the gift of God.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-13

Happy New Year my friends. Go forth and prosper in the hand of God’s grace.